Its time to move on

Am feeling suffocated with what is happening at my work place. The spirit of working for the benefit of the organisation and its members is no longer there. Motivational level is at its lowest. Dont seem able to click at all. Am trying hard to, but the barrier is already established. Am trying hard to put up a brave front but i dont think its gonna work.

Help, where do i go from here? I've got another four years to go. If given the choice i would like to call it quits now and then. Get on with what remains, quality living is what matters now. All that hypocrisy need to be done away with.

Its time to move on. But where to.

Almost there

Ya, i am finally regaining my old self - i.e. my strength, my spirits, my work schedule etc.etc. my office staff is shouting out - hurrah, hurah Pn w is back ! well, its good and its not good. Back to the never ending demands in the office, entertaining parents and teachers alike. well its good and having said that its get really tiring by the time the day is over.
Yesterday, went to negotiate with boss regarding the new system introduced. Spoke my mind on its disadvantages. She accepted what i had to say and agreed to my suggestions. what matters is, it need to be done quick and fast- we dont have to time to fill up different types of forms, repetitive ones i must say. Back to the core business - teaching. Keep other things simple and precise.
i foresee a few more battlefields ahead. Gotta to do it. For the sake of keeping peace all around- sanity to be precise.

Application for Post of Biology Teacher

Available- an experienced with good track record Biology teacher to teach committed, eager to learn,focussed students with ambitions to pursue in related fields. Hasabout 26 years of experienceteaching the subject Biology to students at form 4 to form 6 levels. Am able still put in many more yearsof good teaching with success guaranteed.
To all interested parties, please leave your contact address in the post comments.
Appreciate only genuine enquiries. Thank you

14 days later

well, it wasn't too bad. first day of of school, after an almost 2 weeks absence. Got a good welcome back from good people. Tears flowed freely from quite a few. well, quite a good feeling . touched that people appreciate me.
took things easy . but the sticthes are kind of irritating. brushing against my panty line. two weeks of no underwear , getting use to its presence is taking quite a while.
well, anyway, it had been a good first day. looking forward to tommorow.

14 th April 2009

Today is the day i had my follow up with my surgeon at pusrawi. Today also is the last day of my 9 days medical leave.
Saw the surgeon at around 12.30 pm. She was quite happy with the progress. But it would take another 3 full weeks before i am fully recovered. Was not charged at all , even the consultation fees
was waived. Next appointment on the 5th may.
Right after that, i had this crazy urge to have nasi mamak's at bangsar. so drove myself, tucked in to a sumptious meal of gulai ikan tenggeri, sayor kobis lembik, papadom washed down with teh o ice limau. Not bad. Walked into TMC to check out anything worth buying. Hardly 10 minutes into it, i was already feeling the fatigue creeping in. So drove home in a very dazed state of mind.
Don't know how i will face tommorow. Wish i can opt for extended holiday.
Still looking for Rusni's number. Must call her and try my luck...

Bored, Boring, Bored

I 've always wondered what it would be like to stay home, not do a thing. relax...relax... four days into my nine days of medical leave, i'm feeling bored, boring, bored. It become even more so, cos i'm not able to move around much . The stiches are still painful to sit on.Can't get out of the house... wish i could .. to get to those cold cut fruits. tembikai, jambu batu, betek and nenas.
Called up darling hubby to bring me home those nuts which he promised yesterday and of course those cold cut fruits. Looking forward to them Lovely.

Must watch this...Kena mandram or what?

Good to be home

Ya, its good to be finally home. What an ordeal it had been for me.Two days at the hospital have caught me completely off balanced. Lots of anxiety attacks.... the pressure shooting up to as high as 179!!! just before surgery. Tried hard to put up a brave face by joking with the trainee nurses, the anaesthecian (?) . Didnt feel anything the minute the GA was injected into my vein. The next thing i knew, i was up, heard the doctor discussing about her trip to Bandung and Jakarta. Sounds familiar, or was it a figment of my imagination?
Still feel very weak and exhausted. Doctor gave me 9 days off from work. Now... what am i going to do. But then again, its a blessing in disguise.. To at last take things easy and let someone else do all the worrying at my workplace. The much needed rest disguised in the form of medical leave?
Oh well, gotta to make a return trip to see the surgeon on 14 th April. Her much feared worry was confirmed. A fistula has developed. She is not very happy about it. Saw my exposed neck and 2nd worry crept in. Thyroid gland problem?
Surfed a while just now to find out more about those two conditions. Perhaps should stop looking up all these medical terms. Made me even more worried about my state of health.

Men, Mood Swings and Menopause

Its intriguing that men too do go through nasty mood swings. Its a subject that is not openly discussed , unlike women. The only difference is that women, globally have accepted the fact that when the time comes, the inevitable will happen ie. hot flushes, terrible mood swings, drying of skin etc, etc... But men too go through the same phase. I have been looking up on this topic. Its interesting to note that in this article that i read

"Men who experience menopause will traditionally exhibit a variety of emotions, much like their female counterparts. Most commonly, men who suffer from menopause will show early warning signs involving anger and irritability, even with issues for which there is no basis for such anger or irritation. Because men do not menstruate, the clear indication of male menopause is often not so clear, leading many couples frustrated with the sudden change in a man's emotions and feelings about the world he lives in.' (Male Menopause - A Woman's guide to Man-o-Pause )

Its topic that just cropped up amongs us seniors the other day. After the initial exchange of notes, we all discovered the similarites that could only be due to the common phase that our spouses are going through. Well, no way can we get our respective spouses to admit to the similar conditions. It would be too much for their inflated egos. Somethings i supposed is best not to be discussed openly. It would just aggravate matters. So, what do we do about it. Someone suggested we start a support group. A morning coffee support group ... Not a bad idea i should think so. Not to talk bad about our spouses, but just to help us come to terms that it is part and parcel of the life cycle , which before this has not not been openly acknowledged.
what matters most is.... I am not alone.

almost back to usual

woke up this morning feelin a little better than the past few days...got up to water the plants. for the first time in the last 2 weeks, my plants got their first drink. The soils were as dry and hard. I'm sure if the plants can talk, they'll probably say these lines...' well, about time mam for our much needed drink'....
Had my nasi lemak, rice for the first time since days ago. if i keep up with ricefree meals, probably will be able to get to my pre marriage weight.. 98 lbs i.e approx 44 kg. Another 13 kg to go!! well, to be more realistik maybe another 5 kg loss would be ideal.
Well, tomorrow will be another day. Still need to see the specialist to get the abcess out once and for all. Am already having palpitations thinking of the unknown.

Five Star treatment

The only consolation of being sick is that i always get five star treatment from darling hubby. He is at his best whenever i am ill. Always have been from the early days of marriage until now.
He's back early today especially to get me my basin and of course to make sure i have lunch. Lunch is anything that i fancy. But for an invalid who is struggling to keep oneself alert and strong, everthing taste bland. Of course i have some crazy cravings like ice cold cut fruits and something light to nibble on. Then again, i am struggling to finsih this bowl of McD's congee, to show i appreciate his concern.
When is all this going to end.... ?My best friend in Bentong is going through the same symtoms as i am. Those bugs ..... they pick only on old ladies. Having said that, we r both busy scouring the internet for the best offer to Bandung, its RM330.oo return the latest offer from Air Asia. Dateline is 5th April. Tempting, tempting... One has to make a return trip to deliver home those bugging bugs , right?

still sick

i have not been feeling well for quite sometime. people around me tell me it's due to a combination of work and not enough rest. have been feeling the toll. perhaps its because i am not what i used to be. age factor is definitely one of the major contributor to this condition. went to the doctor today. gave me 2 days off. despite that, i had to make a detour to school to complete a few things. seriously m thinking of throwing in the towels....put in my resignation as a senior assistant and go back to what i love doing most i.e teaching. am sick and tired of being at the back and call of others, i do all the hard work,someone else reaps the rewards. sampai bila ?
am set on going for a thorough checkup at pusrawi this saturday. perhaps then, i can get to the root of this prolonged illness. Must go .... for my sake.

The Day after

Yesterday was the day i was born to two wonderful human beings. It happened of course many many years ago... My second son was the first to greet me right after the clock struckemidnite. It was a wonderful feeling to know that your kids waited all day and night just to make sure they do not forget this auspicious day. it must have remained glued on his mind,, despite all those heavy schedules that children nowadays have. My first daughter followed suit the very next morning.... about 7 am. just a soft whisper of happy birthday. in between that of course were countless messages coming in, especially from my ex students. its a wonderful feeling to know that your're remembered once a year. it means perhaps, your're appreciated.
of course in school, there countless greetings , hugs and kisses included. there were many suprises that awaited me when i got home. a bouquet from lovely tan ss who without fail will give me one. my daughter and son in law bought me a house wrap from debenhams.. sweet of them. daughter said to cover me up...,look more decent la in other words.
Despite all that..... not a word from darling hubby... no hugs, peck on the cheek..nothing. well, what can i say. he is one person who doesn't believe in making a big deal of birthdays. if i had opened my mouth , his standard yearly answer would be" ayah tak pernah sambut hari jadi"
oh well, maybe that support group need to be expediated sooner than planned. well , that's another story.