Kiasu

Malaysians and their selfish attitude! Not all . But that is reflective of the education  in the school system or perhaps home upbringing or perhaps both!

Why so, a visit to the clinic two mornings ago when the crowd was so big and there were  not enough chairs to go around, What iwth the social distancing imposed..please la be more considerate. Don’t start ‘copping’ the seats and go off somewhere . Just take your belongings and let the seat be taken by someone else. bottle drinks, bags are not sick items. Its us people who are elderly, who need a seat to rest our tired legs and body. Please la.

No Big Deal Anymore. Going to the Dogs!!

Lack of enthusiasm kinda of feeling! With so many unpredictables going on, there is no reason to be hypocritical  anymore. Let go and let by. The game of perception continues! And its all about power and money and greed. Don’t BS us! We have got a lot wiser now. 

Post work , current state of work and mind . 

1.13.2019

The time to settle down and start on my memoirs is still not available. I thought that having retired for almost a year  there will be much time to indulge in writing and other things that I am passionate about. A lot of time spent going to and fro to the hospital for my regular follow ups. All in all at the moment I have to visit about 5 different departments for various reasons. The body is going through a lot of changes, of course it is not an automobile, where one can easily  go look for spare parts easily available for whichever part that requires change.
And of course the fatigue that sets in. No extra supplements seem to be of help. My recent visit to two different doctors have left  me with a lot of question marks??. One doctor thought I am into hypotherism which is not good in the long run for my body ( that is what I gathered through my readings) and one doctor thought the high readings is doing me good... it is keeping the C cells away form me!! Due different school of thoughts for one general situation! What Do I do? Who do I put my trust in?

Happy Birthday dear daughter!

(18.1.2019)

My first daughter is 35 today. How time flies! And I thought i was still in my swinging forties!! Happy Birthday dear.. May you be guided throughout your journey by the Almighty.. may you carry on doing what you think best for you and your family ! I m not sure of Allah’s plan for me. I wished to see your children grown up , to carry the family ‘s baton to be passed on to the future generations...
I salute you for the sacrifices that you do.. putting family above yourself.. being a full time mum and foregoing your career.. You have done well in raising your children. They are obedient and polite with elders.. Being children they have their moments of cheekiness but its ok.. let them enjoy their moments..

( Discovered this draft . This was written on 1.18.2019) !! The message still stands!! 

 Congratulations my friend.

I have always been passionate about what I do. If it is something that jives with my likes . I would always put my best foot forward  and tried in every possible ways to get the best impact out of doing so. So, it had always been a challenge for my own self  and  with no intention to show off or to win praises  or anything of that nature. It never was my niat. i suppose this is the set of work genes that was handed down from earlier generations. So when I go all out, quite a number of times, I would get good reviews and feedback from my fellow workmates, my students . And there will be on  many occasions that I will hear statements like “ you are my idol” I want to be just like you.I want to thank you for that most energetic session! This is the first session that I am wide awake all the time! 

So, just last week I was on the social media. There is is one particular teacher, a junior from my last school. She was a hard worker, a proactive teacher. When the teaching of science in english was  introduced  in the education system, she saw the need to have intensive tuturiols in oral and written english. She was the product of our education sytem that used the malay language as the medium of learning. And she was one of those who worked hard in improving the command of the language. She was confident in the delivery of the language, despite the grammatical errros and pronunciations.

And the recent posting showed that she has moved up the ladder, one step away from being the principal of  a secondary school. I see the day will come when she becomes one. So i wrote her a congratulatory message. And this was her reply message to me:

 

So,in this late stage in life, and having done what i should have done, little things like this remarks really makes my day! That I have made a difference in someone ‘s life. And that difference is translated into a huge impact on her teachers and students, Insha Allah.

I couldn’t have asked for anything more. 

25.1.2019
Dementia 
Its is heartbreaking to watch a once prominent, full of life person who had contributed a lot in the field of science being reduced to  a state of helplessness, of complete dependency on others to tend to his  everyday needs.  He was a professor in his career, the highest one can get in that line of work...And now he is in a state of dementia... a condition that strikes most people in their later years. I feel so much for the son who is trying hard to cope with his father's condition..  He looked stressed trying to calm his father who was already agitated due to the long hours at the hospital. He was here from 10 am and it was almost 5 pm when I met them at the pharmacy...

My late Mak was also a victim of the condition..  It started with her not able to locate her personal belongings... her pair of glasses gets misplaced.. We would scour the whole house . Eventually she started hallucinating . About someone who has come to visit her. Usually its a man she calls 'bapak'. Then slowly her speech deteriorated... she was not able to walk,,, she could no longer recognize her children.. Because she had difficulties chewing and swallowing, she was put on a liquid diet..She was then at stage 7 .At this point communication is lost, verbally and and  physically. She was fully dependent on aid from her loved ones.
Her last few months was spent mainly in the hospital. There was a huge cyst in her liver that went undetected . She used to complain of pain but we thought it was because of the constant ritual of lifting her from bed onto her wheelchair ,, back and forth...

During the short encounter with the son, I was able to share with him my experience with my late mother. Of what was expected from us children.. A lot tender loving care.. a lot of patience in handling the patient's swing in moods. I have the utmost respect  and gratitude to my sisters, especially my youngest, with whom Mak stayed for the last few years. Even though we employed  a full time nurse to during the day, my sister took over the task in the evening when she came home from work and also during the weekends. Dear sis.. thank you so much .. I know  I will never be able  to do  what you did.. thank you...


So what exactly is dementia?
When does it strike?
What are the symptoms?
Is it preventable?
What is the lifespan for a dementia patient?

Dementia is not a specific disease. It's an overall term that describes a group of symptoms associated with a decline in memory or other thinking skills severe enough to reduce a person's ability to perform everyday activities. Alzheimer's disease accounts for 60 to 80 percent of cases.

Vascular dementia, which occurs after a stroke, is the second most common dementia type. But there are many other conditions that can cause symptoms of dementia, including some that are reversible, such as thyroid problems and vitamin deficiencies.

While symptoms of dementia can vary greatly, at least two of the following core mental functions must be significantly impaired to be considered dementia:

Memory
Communication and language
Ability to focus and pay attention
Reasoning and judgment
Visual perception

People with dementia may have problems with short-term memory, keeping track of a purse or wallet, paying bills, planning and preparing meals, remembering appointments or traveling out of the neighborhood.

Dementia is caused by damage to brain cells. This damage interferes with the ability of brain cells to communicate with each other. When brain cells cannot communicate normally, thinking, behavior and feelings can be affected.


While most changes in the brain that cause dementia are permanent and worsen over time, thinking and memory problems caused by the following conditions may improve when the condition is treated or addressed:

Depression
Medication side effects
Excess use of alcohol
Thyroid problems
Vitamin deficiencies

Diagnosis of dementia

There is no one test to determine if someone has dementia. Doctors diagnose Alzheimer's and other types of dementia based on a careful medical history, a physical examination, laboratory tests, and the characteristic changes in thinking, day-to-day function and behavior associated with each type. Doctors can determine that a person has dementia with a high level of certainty. But it's harder to determine the exact type of dementia because the symptoms and brain changes of different dementias can overlap. In some cases, a doctor may diagnose "dementia" and not specify a type.

Dementia treatment and care

Treatment of dementia depends on its cause. In the case of most progressive dementias, including Alzheimer's disease, there is no cure and no treatment that slows or stops its progression. But there are drug treatments that may temporarily improve symptoms. The same medications used to treat Alzheimer's are among the drugs sometimes prescribed to help with symptoms of other types of dementias. Non-drug therapies can also alleviate some symptoms of dementia.

Some risk factors for dementia, such as age and genetics, cannot be changed. But researchers continue to explore the impact of other risk factors on brain health and prevention of dementia. Some of the most active areas of research in risk reduction and prevention include cardiovascular factors, physical fitness and diet.
Cardiovascular risk factors: Your brain is nourished by one of your body's richest networks of blood vessels. Anything that damages blood vessels anywhere in your body can damage blood vessels in your brain, depriving brain cells of vital food and oxygen. Blood vessel changes in the brain are linked to vascular dementia. They often are present along with changes caused by other types of dementia, including Alzheimer's disease and dementia with Lewy bodies. These changes may interact to cause faster decline or make impairments more severe. You can help protect your brain with some of the same strategies that protect your heart — don't smoke; take steps to keep your blood pressure, cholesterol and blood sugar within recommended limits; and maintain a healthy weight.
Physical exercise: Regular physical exercise may help lower the risk of some types of dementia. Evidence suggests exercise may directly benefit brain cells by increasing blood and oxygen flow to the brain.
Diet: What you eat may have its greatest impact on brain health through its effect on heart health. The best current evidence suggests that heart-healthy eating patterns, such as the Mediterranean diet, also may help protect the brain. A Mediterranean diet includes relatively little red meat and emphasizes whole grains, fruits and vegetables, fish and shellfish, and nuts, olive oil and other healthy fats.

In conclusion, this is a condition that can  strike  on anyone... genetically or environmental factors due to lifestyle.. eating habits and physical activities...Is it preventable? Well up to a certain extent ...Just watch out for the early signs. Lead a healthy  lifestyle if possible. Do physical work, exercise the brain through activities that challenges the mind to think, to be always alert.. Insha Allah...

Reflections 

Since I can remember, I always have a tendency to wake up at certain hours in the night. And the odd certain hour has always been at about 3 am in the morning. I dont understand why .  Was it because i always hit the bed very early?  And thus by the time it was 3 am  I have had enough enough hours of sleep? 

I always tire quite easily since young. And there was no force stopping me from closing my eyes and sleep! When I was young, maybe about the age of 9 , I remember I followed my late father to attend one of his work related shows that his information department put up to the public. In between the talks on the goverment policies and so on, there would be comic sketches , songs etc from invited artistes .And, I never fail to fall asleep, no matter how good these people in their acts, When it was time , my brain, my mind, my eyes wait for no man. And I would just fall off to sleep.

When I was already  a married woman and also a mother, I remember going back to my in -laws. There was a big event, where almost the entire kampung folks were guests at the house. Foods and drinks were served, guests lingered on after the eating. I was strugging to keep awake as it was already past my bedtime. It was most embarassing, but I just stretched out at one corner and dozed off.  And many incidents that happened back in my in laws place where I would just fall off to sleep much much earlier than my children. They were young during those years and they of course have plenty of energy to spare. So, it would be my husband’s take to keep watch on them. And because of that sleep pattern I would be one of the early birds , so to speak , to rise in the mornings while the rest of the house were still asleep. 

I have tried to change these sleeping  patterns. Even now I am still trying. Sometimes I am sucessful in  keeping late nights but  not for long. 

And nowadays, at this age, I am up by sometimes as early as 1 in the morning. Not that I sleep all hours during the day! At most it would a 3 hours sleep in the afternoon. Is that too long ? How can I make myself less tired and sleepy during the daylights?  I have listened, I have read  and I have carried out the tips and yet the patterns remains!

I can recall my great great grandmother ( my mother’s grandmother ) who was one person would be awake most of the nights. She would be on her bed, all alone in the room downstairs and being alone without company at nights, she would be sitting on the bed, in the enclosed mosquito nettings. My late grandfather once told me  in his voice of despair. He just bought her a box of curut (  local cigar ) and she would finish them in within a short span of days! Now recalling those moments, I really can understand the situation much clearer now. Yes, you may have a house full of occupants,  one may have a sleeping partner right beside oneself. But if you are the only one up in this ungodly hours while the rest are asleep, you feel that you are all alone really. All quiet and the only company is oneself. 

Oh of course some people are going to start making remarks like ..ya a good time for you to offer your sunat prayers, to read and understand the Quran.You should be so lucky! You are the chosen one! Yes, without doubt I savour these quiet moments to kneel before the Almighthy, to seek forgiveness, to seek solace. And I look forward to these precious moments now. I must admit that I was an illiterate in the understanding the written messages of the Al Quran. But now I have read many times over and everytime I read a particular verse, I find something new , a new hidden message which I have overlooked before this. So ya, it is a rewarding time for me now. Time well spent ,reflecting and consolidating those thoughts.And of course the clocki s ticking forward.  There is no looking back. I pray to Allah for his blessings and I say my thanks to Him for the hidayah ( guidance) that He has bestowed upon me. Alhamdullilah. You are the greatest Planner . This is the Hikmah!

 Dear Allah ,may You accept my prayers of repent., Forgive me for for all the negativites that I have in my mind about this situation . This is your plan for me. Alhamdullilah. 

Ash -hadu Anna La Ilahi Illa Allah. Wa ash hadu Anna Muhammadan Rasulu Allah.

O Allah, please bless us with eyes that see the best in people. A heart that forgives the worst. A mind that forgets the bad and a soul that never loses faith. Aamiin.