Quite a mess

When one is tuned in to the way things are done in almost very set ways, it becomes quite confusing when decisions are made at the spur of the moment with very little regard to the consequences of such rushed undertakings.

Its as if no thoughts or homework was done at all on matters. Very circus like kinda of atmosphere.

Where is the professionalism in these matters?

And its becoming quite embarrassing to witness such spectacles.But then again, perhaps this is how things are supposed to be in the outside world. But then again, like one person wrote, Its not always the best that reached the top.

Becoming quite disillusioned with the way things are. Don't know how long I can keep up with this.

I suppose the best way to cope with this situation is to just stay in your corner and move on .

Thoughts to words

They tell so many things within this short space of time and they demand the best. And they expect par excellence at first try, Now that is a very tall order.

Try ask anyone who has been through this. Sometimes you have to go through some trials and errors before it clicked right.

But having said that, time is not on one's side. Quite true in my case.

But the best thing to do right now is to try your level best. Get as much input as you probably can.And hope for the best.

At the end of of the day, what matters is you have tried your best. And if the best is not good enough, do it again, another way with feedbacks of course.

And hope for the best once again.

Not Like what I thought

Quite disappointed with what i saw. it could have been done better.Looked kinda of rundown. Rush rush job . A long as it gets done.

A new coat of paint would have perked the place up. No planning at all. As long as its done. Period.

Felt kinda of sad for those there.

But its not my place to commend.

Kiasu thoughts

The cons of sharing a room with a room mate that has plenty of time in her hand is that it does get irritating when you're trying hard to finish your reading and your room mate keeps wanting to talk to you about anything under the sun.

Not that I don't appreciate her company. If that happens ever too often, its a real test of the nerves.

At this stage in one's career where there are a lot of catching up to do in terms of keeping abreast with the latest in the leadership arena , one would appreciate some degree of solitude.

The last time i really did serious readings of journals and so forth was way back during my masters level days. And that was a long long time ago. Kinda of rusty now.

Emmm...., am i being selfish in thoughts??

Gotta finish my readings before the teaching commence ...

???

Why is it that every time I opened my mouth to comment on something,it always backfires ? Every time , without fail, I 've been accused of being angry, when my only thought was just to say out loud what i felt was not done right at that point in time.

Am I alone in this situation or are there people out there who share the same misfortune of being wrongly accused when in actual fact we didn't mean it to sound that way.

So, the best thing to do is to shut up, to go on picking up whatever it is that needs to be picked up. To tidy up what ever that needs to be tidied up . To go on doing what needs to be done.

Its a real wonder we women are the chosen ones. The person with the high level of tolerance, who takes in day in day out whatever that comes along. the person who has the patience to swallow in all that jargon and mishaps, that person who is expected to be perfect at all times, to not commit a mistake. Of course, if that woman cares to bear all those driils on how things should have been done.

This is how you should this, not that. You should have done it this way. why didn't think it the other way round?

I suppose when you get all this feeds, you begin to feel that you are one hopeless person.

Keep those thoughts to myself. Do what I know best. Pick up, clear up .

False Alarm? No, Just Being Cautious

For the benefit of the doubt. Told my daughter to report to the nearest hospital when she called to inform she had a show. Though only in her 35th month of pregnancy and knowing my family history, its best to go get the experts to confirm.

She's back home, after a thorough checkup by the doctors. Kinda of relief.

Don't know how far the truth is, but my mom has always been telling stories about our descendants with extra ordinary skills in midwifery. Some kinda of handed down mystical skills i presume. The Malays called it Keturunan bidan. What is so special about that? Apparently, the ability to heal and ease pain. So, going through the birthing process is a bearable thing.

Based on my personal experience and also my other sisters there is some truth in that area, Not totally bearable, but it wasn't too bad .

Well, time will tell .So dear daughter , if you are reading this,rest assured. Its the most natural thing for any woman bearing child to go through. A great experience. once you have gone through it, you wouldn't mind going through it again.

So , when the real time comes, remember, all the generations before you, including your mother, has gone through it. The time is yours. We will all be praying for you and looking forward to the arrival of the 7th generation of the Bendahara clan.

PS: since junior has decided otherwise, gotta cancel my leave. supposedly starting today.

We have every right to be upset

There is no such thing as a half way house. You want to embrace what is rightly ours- you have to do it lock stock and barrel. You don't embrace things half baked.Unless you have other ulterior motive, some thing hidden , your hidden agenda which time will only tell.

Why the sudden interest? Why the sudden interest in aligning yourselves in terms of name only. You may say, well, its only a name. But why in particular ours?

Why only in name only? Why not everything else that has got to do with the name?


So, please don't say to us that we are being over emotional, for being too fanatical.

We have every right to be angry.the majority are still rational.So, think again.

A Good Exposure

My first international conference on Education. Focus is on effective schools and reforms. Another two days of it.

So far, the contents, the presentations that I have listened to has been most thought provoking, most enlightening. seeing the international writers in persons is most rewarding. To be able to hear their points of views and to reflect on what has been said ,and to put their views in the local perspective sets me thinking of the wide possibilities, the still untapped areas of research that can be carried on to help effective learning and management oi local schools .

The international talk about networking was most thought provoking. Not to say there is no networking amongst teachers from within the same districts . The depth, commitment level and the actual impact on the teaching learning and student outcome is I think an area that needs further probing.A lot can be done locally.

When amongst these groups of very committed intellectuals who gather every year to discuss, share their points of views and to reflect on what has and still need to be done in transforming schools takes a lot of dedication and passion and of course not forgetting their time and money.

So far these groups of researchers are quite confined to within the circle of their western counterparts . Though there are members from the far east and other countries outside the circle, but the main focus of studies centers around these core members.

So what works best in the west may not necessarily be applicable to the local scene. Especially so when it concerns schools. Even local schools within the same district differ . The school culture is something that is difficult to change. So if changes means upsetting how things are done in that particular school, there will be a lot of resistance from its members.

But having said that, school culture can be changed, but you need a strong leadership to shift the mindset of the school to accept changes.And perhaps while on the subject of school leaders, there must a better method of selection to ensure that only the best with all right qualities are selected to lead the schools.

Perhaps then, with dynamic personalities and leaders willing to take risks can do something be done about turning schools 360 degrees.

Its not about being in one's good books that ensures and guarantees that climb to the top of the ladder.

Its about what it takes to make that much needed change.

Monday blues and productivity

First day of work after a long 10 days break. It had been raining since 4 am . so the drive up was again done in a very cautious manner. Surprisingly it wasn't too misty. The air was quite clear. But it drizzled all the way up. The roads were rather slippery.

I felt chilled to the bones, despite not switching on the fan nor the air conditioner.

Then it was straight to catching up on my reading. managed to read through 3 chapters of the current book. Not bad cause I thought that i would be most unproductive after the long break.

Maybe the long rest was good , physically and mentally. Though to say that it was complete rest during the 10 days was not true cause there was a lot of spring cleaning that needed to be done. About time too.

Oh well.Looking forward to tomorrow cause I am one of the 60 selected to attend an international conference on effective schools.Starting tomorrow to the 8th. Looking to meeting many of the great international names in effective school research.looking forward to meeting to one of ex colleague who will be finishing her PhD in a few months time.

Looking forward to more productive days ahead.

Until the next chain of events

Today marks the end of a long chains of events, ranging from dinners to countless weddings invitations and other social activities . It had been a most eventful end of the year affairs right up to the first few days of the year 2010.

Today's wedding invite was from my cousin who has come to settle in Malaysia from Indonesia. Her grandma was my paternal grandfather's youngest sister , she married an Indonesian, went and settled down in Medan , Sumatra. Met most of those whom i have met before. Some I could recognize and some I could barely remember. But it had been a most fitting and memorable finale .

Until the next chain of event. Wedding wise , it is going to as early as this 22nd January.

Looking forward to my first day of work in the new year, after an almost 10 days break.