55 years down the road and what have I done to be proud of as a person, a daughter, a wife, a mother, a sister, a friend, a colleague? How many people whose lives I have made a difference? How many foes have I gathered, consciously or otherwise?
How many times, during my tenure years as a mother have I made my children proud of me as their mother; on how many occasions have they wished for someone better? How many times during my years as wife have I pleased my husband, on how many occasions did it crossed his mind that this is all one big mistake?
Have my actions been too demanding on all those around me? Are my words offensive to hear? Have I pushed myself too far with my demands? Have I listened enough?
How relevant am I ?
I wonder. Truly
Monday, April 30, 2012
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Another 4 weeks of rest at home.Medical rest i mean. Not good at all. Restricted movement. A lot to be done.Since the wedding of my first son on 10th March, the mishap occured on 16th March. Was looking forward to the first weekend after the wedding to clear up and get things back in order. But alas it was not meant to be.
Slipped and fell at workplace. the carpels of the wrist fractured , the ulna snapped at the front joint to the carpel and dislocated.The doctor at the emergency ward pulled it back into position, under heavy sedative of course. the left arm was put in cast and five weeks later still in it. by the image of the x ray done yesterday, another four weeks in it until the next x ray appointment on the 15 th May.The bones showed signs of patching but i suppose considering my age, it will take a little longer.
So, if anyone were to pose this question to me, are you enjoying your newfound blissful?
Yes and No.
Yes, cause of the fractured bones- gotta rest well in order to recover well.
No, cause i am missing my walks,my weekly exercise around the lake . Can't do too much standing and waking at all. the blood flow in the arm gets all choked up, the swelling will start, so will the pain.
So, a lot of lying down. A lot of eating too with minimal burning. So i a now a puffed-up goldfish.
Do i missed the workplace? initially, Yes. the months of April and May are very busy months for me. Lots of sessions with heads of schools. Sessions with teacher trainees, my trip to south korea. All have to be shelved.
But now, i don't know whether all these matters anymore.Of prime importance. For the time being, it has taken a back seat. I am with my children and grandson almost everyday of the week. i get to accompany my husband on short trips nearby.
Of course it would be nice to be able to spend more time in the kitchen, but presently i am still not able to peel those onions with only my right hands . Washing up is still a tedious chore . Reading for long periods is also a chore.
Watching the idiot box is also a chore. Almost 30 odd channels to choose from and sometimes none that is worth sitting and watching through. So , for now watching korean dramas on the korean channel takes the top spot. after 5 weeks , i have actually memorised the time and schedules of the 5 main ongoing dramas.
Starting today, it will be another four weeks . Now what do i now. Wishing I can clear the front porch, full of stuffs that can thrown out now. So too are some of the materials hibernating on the book racks.
It will happen.
Slipped and fell at workplace. the carpels of the wrist fractured , the ulna snapped at the front joint to the carpel and dislocated.The doctor at the emergency ward pulled it back into position, under heavy sedative of course. the left arm was put in cast and five weeks later still in it. by the image of the x ray done yesterday, another four weeks in it until the next x ray appointment on the 15 th May.The bones showed signs of patching but i suppose considering my age, it will take a little longer.
So, if anyone were to pose this question to me, are you enjoying your newfound blissful?
Yes and No.
Yes, cause of the fractured bones- gotta rest well in order to recover well.
No, cause i am missing my walks,my weekly exercise around the lake . Can't do too much standing and waking at all. the blood flow in the arm gets all choked up, the swelling will start, so will the pain.
So, a lot of lying down. A lot of eating too with minimal burning. So i a now a puffed-up goldfish.
Do i missed the workplace? initially, Yes. the months of April and May are very busy months for me. Lots of sessions with heads of schools. Sessions with teacher trainees, my trip to south korea. All have to be shelved.
But now, i don't know whether all these matters anymore.Of prime importance. For the time being, it has taken a back seat. I am with my children and grandson almost everyday of the week. i get to accompany my husband on short trips nearby.
Of course it would be nice to be able to spend more time in the kitchen, but presently i am still not able to peel those onions with only my right hands . Washing up is still a tedious chore . Reading for long periods is also a chore.
Watching the idiot box is also a chore. Almost 30 odd channels to choose from and sometimes none that is worth sitting and watching through. So , for now watching korean dramas on the korean channel takes the top spot. after 5 weeks , i have actually memorised the time and schedules of the 5 main ongoing dramas.
Starting today, it will be another four weeks . Now what do i now. Wishing I can clear the front porch, full of stuffs that can thrown out now. So too are some of the materials hibernating on the book racks.
It will happen.
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