HAPPY 31ST YEARS OF TOGETHER DARLING. LOVE YOU FOR WHAT YOU ARE, FOR WHAT YOU ARE TO MY CHILDREN. THANK YOU FOR ALL THAT YOU HAVE DONE TO ME, FOR ME, FOR THE CHILDREN.LOOKING FORWARD TO ANOTHER 30 YEARS WITH YOU.


Today marks 31 years of living together as husband and wife, father and mother to four wonderful children with of course the recent addition of one son-in law in 2008 and one grandchild in early 2010. So, what is there more to say.

31 years. More time than time spent living with my parents.

I married at the age of 21. During my third year of study at the university.The courtship period was short.But I was aware of him earlier than that. It was during my first year.He was there, at the same spot, same time and same serious mood reading and doing his stuff on the mezzanine floor, main library . While of course, dear me , was most productive for one hour at the most, always with this group of friends, then, a potential medical student, a potential engineer, and another course mate.One hour of study, break for coffee, another hour , then its time up. whilst all the while he was there, not moving at all, studying, reading and whatever. I noticed he was always in his baju melayu, purple , and his jeans. Hmm, quite smart really. Of course with his sweet moustache and shoulder length hair , he portrayed the look of this one Indonesian movie character.

Anyway to cut the story short, apparently, amidst his serious portrayal of himself he was actually occasionally looking my way, when I was not aware. This I knew when one of course mate approached me and told me I had a secret admirer. When I found out that it was him, I knew that instantly it had to be him. Deep down inside, my gut feeling told me that if I were to hook up with him , it was going to be a permanent thing and I was not ready for that.

So, that was what I did. Took my time . Actually got to know him during his last year, that was towards the end of my second year. Then he was off to Belgium for a year . He came back in December 1978. We got engaged in April 1979, married at on 1st September 1979, again 15 days later he left for UK to finish his doctorate , which he never did, cause he came back within one year. We went again as a family in 1986 to UK.

I finished my final year pregnant with my first child, that was in 1981.

People say there are many phases that one has to go through in a marriage. The first few years of excitement, then the 7 year itch , the middle age crisis, so on and so forth. I have been through all that. The first few years was actually getting to know the real you stage. Everything is well and nice during the courting period because of the front that everyone puts up to one another. So if you survive this stage you'll survive whatever else that comes along.

Marriage is a compromise. And that means making sacrifices. Sometimes, the urge to be self centred is there, to think of doing things to satisfy one's own needs and urge is there.

But then again, I have erred many a times, as a wife, as a mother.....

It hasn't been easy and no one says marriage is a bed of roses. If someone tells me they have a perfect marriage, then they are just kidding themselves, really.

Cause we are not born with marriage skills..As a child there is your mom and dad to tell you the dos and the dont's. But in a marriage? Hmm...

So, egos aside, you have to work to make it happen. You have to talk it out if there is a need to do so. It hurts but its better to get it out of the system, otherwise you never communicate your feelings and needs and that is bad, not good at all.

So, I have had a good 31 years of relationship with my husband, the trials and tribulations, the ups and downs of trying it get it right . It gets better and better. But time is running short. Back then you think you have all the time in the world but now I pray to the Almighty to give me mamy many more years with him.

I am looking forward to the next few years when my career ends. We hope we will be able to full fill our wish of doing a few things together, just the two of us.

I am looking forward to that day.

Alhamdullillah syukur terhadap segala yang telah Engkau limpahkan ke atas keluarga kami selama ini. Segala dugaan , segala rahmat yang kami terima, syukur alhamdullilah.